2: Sale-A-Brate Good Times, C'mon!
2: Sale-A-Brate Good Times, C'mon!
America's 40 biggest celebrity side hustlers, getting liquored up with a famous director, the sinking celebrity crypto hustler ship, and why 'tis always the season for celebrity memoirs.
TL;DR? This week we’re talking about the 40 biggest celebrity side hustlers, getting liquored up with a little guidance from a famous American movie director, crossing our fingers that the celebrity crypto huckster ship may finally be sinking, and why ‘tis always the season for celebrity memoirs, both squicky and sublime.
Also? Get in, bitches! We’re creating short and sweet companion audio. So send us a voice memo at celebritysidehustlers@substack.com about the hustle you can’t get out of your head.
Or get a quick CSH hit via Stephen Colbert’s pickleball synergy….why Miranda Lambert wants to know if Y’ALL EAT YET?….how Gucci is using Miley Cyrus to waft its Gucci Flora Gorgeous Jasmine Eau de Parfum under the noses of normies like me….and Daniel Craig shaking his groove thing, a little stiffly, for Belvedere Vodka with a directorial assist from Taikia Waititi. (Stiff or not, I’m into it.) Oh, and some guy who used to make music announced he’s running for POTUS again.
I’m on the Grind, Baby
I waited for The Hollywood Reporter’s 40 Biggest Celebrity Entrepreneurs in 2022 article to hit the digital presses the way some of y’all waited in/online for Taylor Swift tickets, albeit with much more success and less interest from Congress and the Department of Justice.
There’s a LOT to unpack here, though it’s not exactly news that celebrity side hustlers gravitate toward liquor (the money’s quicker) and dubious skin care lines. And it’s a, shall we say, generous article that doesn’t dig too deeply, or at all, into the complexity of the licensing deals, level of actual celebrity input, or if these products are mmm or hmmm beyond the initial YOLO purchase.
But I’m still WhiteManBlinkingGIFing over this tidbit:
But rather than zero in on a liquor brand, lip gloss or luxury fragrance, [Gal] Gadot linked up with Goodles, a Santa Cruz-based boxed mac and cheese start-up.
I’m sorry, what? It’s not enough that Wonder Woman made me wash my eyes out with soap after watching her and Armie Hammer rub against each other like dirty laundry on a washboard in this year’s Death on the Nile remake. Now I’m forced to learn there’s such a thing as a :::checks notes::: ‘boxed macaroni and cheese start-up’ too? :::curses in Hebrew:::
I also learned that an affordable Elton John eyewear line exists—launched at Walmart and Sam’s Club in November 2021, with an emphasis on self-expression—and that I would like to see it.
Every Girl’s Crazy ‘Bout a Sharp Dressed Man
Producer and director Paul Feig (Bridesmaids, Ghostbusters, The Heat, A Simple Favor, Spy) still refuse to grace/curse us with a menswear line despite wearing a natty suit every day for the last 22 years. We stan a comedy king who doesn’t feel the need to cash in on every damn thing or be caught dead wearing pre-ripped jeans and a baseball cap.
But I did catch him side hustlin’ his latest book, Cocktail Time!: The Ultimate Guide to Grown-Up Fun on Good Morning America.
It ties (hey-o!) nicely into his 2012 Esquire magazine ‘confession’ of being one of the few dudes wearing a suit on set, at a DGA mixer, or just in mainstream American life:
I always wanted to be an adult, ever since I was a kid.
I blame TV. I would see Darrin Stephens mixing a pitcher of martinis when he got home from work or Maude's husband, Walter, pouring himself a Scotch and all I could think was, I want to live like that. I liked a world filled with cocktail parties and nightclub floor shows and giant table lighters. And I knew the uniform for any grown man living in that world was a suit and tie.
Entertainment Weekly went the advertorial route with an article featuring three recipes from Cocktail Time:
Cocktail Time! also features Feig's original recipes that he concocted himself, as well as recipes from many of his famous friends. EW can exclusively share three of those (and their accompanying stories) here — Feig's creation, the Squeaky Door; a trio of cocktails inspired by his hit comedy Bridesmaids; and a recipe shared by his frequent collaborator, actor Henry Golding (A Simple Favor, Last Christmas).
I prefer the Good Morning America visit because Feig made a mocktail, a shout out to teetotaling bishes like me who still like to feel refined even if the hardest drink we’ve ever ordered at a bar was a Shirley Temple. It’s also where I learned that Feig is the famous face behind Artingstall Gin because of course he is.
I’m a Sucker For You, Baby
Vulture and Variety reported on the celebrity angle of November’s inevitable $32 billion FTX cryptocurrency exchange crash. And how does that McDonald’s commercial jingle of old go? I’m lovin’ it?
Anyway, celebrity crypto hucksters—sorry, brand ambassadors—Tom Brady, Stephen Curry (duuuude!), Larry David, Shaquille O’Neal, Naomi Osaka, the Golden State Warriors, and other bold face names have been named in a class-action lawsuit. It accuses FTX and its famous mouthpieces of using deception to lure regular Joes and Janes into investing in what’s looking like a Ponzi scheme in digital clothing.
The list of celebrities who’ve profited by leaning into crypto/NFT/bitcoin hustling is long and growing. I’d bet actual money this won’t be the last ‘brand ambassador’ lawsuit we’ll see. Meanwhile, I’ll be over here doing deep dives into 17th century tulip fever, which apparently was more of a cold, and pre-ordering The O.C. and Gotham actor Ben McKenzie’s new side hustle—coauthoring Easy Money, Casino Capitalism, and the Golden Age of Fraud with journalist Jacob Silverman.
I never watched The O.C. or Gotham despite the former featuring both Adam Brody and Peter Gallagher’s expressive eyebrows. But I did somehow know that McKenzie had a degree in economics and foreign affairs from the University of Virginia—celebrity journalism osmosis?—and I thought crypto smelled like snake oil. It made me linger over the handful of articles he and Silverman wrote for Slate. Mostly because they seemed to be giving the crypto craze a critical once-over that seemed to be missing from even some of the most hard-hitting finance nerd journalism.
But what finally made me smash the pre-order button for Easy Money? McKenzie’s press release one-liner. “Finally I’ve found a crypto project worth shilling: my book.” Well played, sir. Well played.
Peek-a-Boo, I Read You
“Do celebrity memoirs count?” Yes, I assured my favorite female relative. In fact, they might be my favorite form of celebrity side hustle, my futile attempts to evade Friends’ star Matthew Perry’s press tour for his TMI Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing memoir aside.
I don’t want this email to turn into a novella, so I’ll stop here—but only after insisting you listen to this week’s celebrity memoir-themed episode of Vulture’s Into It with Sam Sanders, The Juiciest Celebrity Memoirs of 2022. It’s riveting, poignant, and hilarious enough that I had to repeatedly fake apologize for laughing so loudly while listening on the streets of Philadelphia today. Celebrity Book Club host Chelsea Devantez is Sam’s guest and I need you to get into both podcasts, like, yesterday. Binge listen that ish.
Listen to comedians Claire Parker and Ashley Hamilton’s Celebrity Memoir Book Club podcast too while you’re at it! (Yes, the similar names are confusing, even as I don’t include a third pod with the same name as Chelsea’s. Oh, what the hell.) And not just because they read Perry’s book so I didn’t have to.
“I have a never-ending need for attention, but it’s never the right kind of attention,” he says. “It didn’t work. It didn’t fix that hole in me, and that was surprising to me.” - Matthew Perry